Manipulating the Manipulators....

So I had a confrontation today with someone I spent a little time with awhile back and also in the not so recent past...it occured to me that I have never really dealt with him on a personal level until now, and by personal level I mean thought about it at any great length.  Anywho, he tried to turn a dumbass insignificant occasion into something of a dramatic nature, and I curbed it by bringing up something that I knew would get to him.  Was that wrong? Probably. Do I care? Probably not. Anyway, it kind of made me smile to know that I walked out of the encounter amused by the fact that I wasn't the one that felt like crap this time.  So to that person...Fuck You.

That being said:

I'm sitting in the UC Commons, and I have to say that I love coming in here. You get the best entertainment money can buy... Yesterday I'm sitting here doing my homework and I get to listen in on a conversation by a girl, and we're going to refer to her as Sorority Girl or SG for short, talk about how she can't find the right guy.  Her basis for argument was the idea that she couldn't find a man that would be home when she got there and is willing to clean up once in awhile, do some cooking, shower her with attention, etc.  Well hello, this is Earth and your a dumbass.  But still it was entertaining to listen to her sob story.

Exit SG and enter Freaky Weirdo, or FW

So FW and his buddy sit down at the table formerly occupied by SG,  they didn't stay long but the time they spent was well worth my time anyway.  So FW starts talking about the weirdos on campus as if he's normal, and let me tell you, you should have seen this guy, quite aways out there and that was just based on appearances.  Back to their conversation though: they started talking about how they always had to sit facing a window or the door to the room so that when supposed freak of nature Q enters to "blow them all away" they will know what's coming and be able to either jump out of the way, or out the window at the very least.  Maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious and I was laughing the whole time at them.

So that brings us to today....

Letters story amended...

Today I woke up to the persistant pounding of a large vein in my left temple...it kind of felt like Superman had taken a grip on it and was twisting it around my right ankle.  Needless to say, four ibruprofen and two glasses of water and a glass of milk later, it finally decided to go back to the hell it came from and I was able to get a grasp on my thoughts.  Or at least I was able to relive the entire night and comprehend what happened and how I felt about it.

Basically I came to about four conclusions:

1.  Some people no matter how hard you try to like them, accept them, or respect them, just don't make the cut.  They are the worthless scum of the earth and have I have no use for them in my reportoire.  This one actually had nothing to do with this week, but rather last saturday...and it still holds true.

2.  No matter how hard you try to deny a feeling it doesn't go away and inevitably comes back to bite you in the ass.  In retrospect it was only a small bite and now the feeling is gone, we shall bid it a fond farewell...

3.  Don't ever tell anyone anything in confidence because they fuck you, whether they intend to or not, it happens, it's life, and it sucks.  We all know that this is a fact of life and what I've come to expect from anyone who I want to be my friend, hell look at the history...

4.  Friends are better off not knowing everything about you, and vice versa.  Not only can they use it against you when you piss them off, but it takes the fun out of thinking they are a mystery.  You have to have friends, they are what get you thru this world with a grain of sanity, I wouldn't be here today without my metaphorical bitch slappings.

So yeah, to finish up the fantastic story I told my sister today, I'm going to give a quick character analysis of each one involved, including a few that didn't get thrown in while I explained it to her. 

Person A: While Person C has lost a certain measure of respect for this individual, they still have a few saving graces, after thinking about it Person C is over it, and doesn't care anymore, they are just going to have to forget about some other things...but hey denial is the first step to forgetting something happened right?  Person C does not want to really forget anything, and something good might come out of the situation anyway, they do however wish that it had been handled better and not like highschool, which Person C has to deal with again tonight...

Person B: Yeah well, better off not existing in any world... Ok so apparantly Person C was angry when typing this, and they regret it, moreso they were angry because something as small as this got to them.  Person B is now being mildly commended, even though they were drunk and acting childish, for standing up for something they loved, and that is honorable in any situation.  So good for you Person B, even though you never liked Person C to begin with.

Person C: Adapting moderately to the current situation that is their life...Person C is getting ready to flunk a test, ok not really, but they have adapted well internally to all that has happened, and now is working on smoothing out the external factors.

Person M: Quite possibly the best person on this list right now...and Person C loves him more than the really cool pj pants that they bought yesterday.  Person C thanks Person M for dragging their drunk ass in off the porch.....

Person J: Mreow!!!

Place of Employment Q: Kind of annoying, and possibly going to become the next ex-place of employment for Person C.

Person Z: Anonymous third party nominee that Person P is supposed to be finding for Person C.

Person P42: Wants a fish tank, but she needs to focus on finding Person Z for Person C.

Person L: Fucking Fabulous is all I have to say, makes Person C's world go around, like a total eclipse of the heart.

Person H: Hilarious when they are drunk, and they need to focus on the GNR

Person E: Is only E cuz B is already taken, and they need to stop showing off, or Person C is going to kick their ass

I think that's about all the characters that were actually in the story and chain of events that have been occuring in the last few days.  If anybody wants to guess at them all, they win a case of beer of their choice and they are allowed to not get two.   

dying is the passion that was once me...

So I've come to the conclusion that not only do I hate God, but he hates me and refuses to let me have a normal life.  Fuck the story I got the other day involving carrots, eggs and coffee...I am the carrot, I can be boiled down, and I often am, I can't handle all the pressures that the world puts on me, and sometimes I want to cry...sometimes I do...I am the egg, I am soft inside, and no amount of boiling will ever harden me... I would like to be the coffee but I dont' know how to change myself let alone the world.  So here I am fucked, living in a fantasy that I have created to justify my existence.  Why do I let myself get into these messes? Why the fuck do I let anything get to me? I suppose its becuase I'm human and anyone with a shred of humanity lets the same things happen...but fuck, what's wrong with trying to first make myself happy, and for trying to make the rest of the world happy.  Is it such a hard concept to grasp?  I'm done rambling for a bit